Chuck Norris FACTS

[Lerkurlian Tamer]

Chuck Norris speaks in all caps.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.

Chuck Norris can kick start a car.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

And finally, Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.

[Seuss]

Tina Fey thinks Chuck Norris is a tombe.

[Unbelievably Hot Meramon]

Chuck Norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass. At night.

Once, Chuck Norris got in an argument with the Pope. Chuck Norris made the Earth revolve around the sun.

When Chuck Norris hit puberty, puberty had to go to the hospital.

When Chuck Norris plays soccer, the ball always looses.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Vin Diesel eats babies. Chuck Norris eats Vin Diesel.

Some people think that plate tectonics are the reason that Pangea seperated into the continents. But actually, everything that Chuck Norris kicks breaks into seven pieces.

When Chuck Norris jumps in the pool, he does not get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris hits his kids, he uses Orion's Belt.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris donates blood all the time. Chuck Norris never donates his own blood.

Chuck Norris's foot digivolves into your face.

[Miyako-kun]

Uh...inapropriate, but oh, well, here goes...(((EDITED)))

[Lerkurlian Tamer]

Yes, that is pretty inappropreate...

[Miyako-kun]

MAN!

[Unbelievably Hot Meramon]

dukakis thinks tina fey is a tombe.

[Miyako-kun]

My big toe's affraid of Chuck norris.

[Lerkurlian Tamer]

Godzilla is afraid of Chuck Norris.

[Miyako-kun]

Hidimon is owned by Chuck Norris